Two years ago (2011)I decided to start writing. I wasn’t quite sure what I wanted the focus to be – book – blog – short stories – maybe pamphlets? The only thing I knew for certain was I wanted to express the beauty and humor of everyday life. In a quiet moment, I was inspired, as most women are, by my family.
Unintentionally, the framework for Let’s Talk Logistics (my first blog) were laid. This was the first blog post written.
It was early in the morning and the baby’s diaper needed to be changed. He is sleeping soundly and I know he will not wake up. 4:30 am. Preparing to leave for a long-awaited family vacation. Only the light of a muted TV illuminates a completely quiet house. I unsnap his footed pajamas from his feet to his belly button and he stretches his chunky legs as the rooms cool air reaches his warm body. I pause to watch and a smile spreads across my face.
I don’t want to leave this moment. Watching his chubby almost ten week old legs stretch and wiggle in the dark. He is grunting softly. A commentary of his own on how wonderful the small pleasures in life are. My heart swells. I love him so much, yet, I barely know him. I feel so honored by God that He chose me to be this precious man’s mother. That He has trusted me with the care of this tiny child.
I am filled with the overwhelming emotions of love, gratitude, awe, and peace. In this tiny moment, the entire world is without war, loss, grief, and pain. Two chubby legs have stirred the pools of tranquility. A perfect moment.
Later in the morning, sitting in the backseat of our SUV, I am still on the emotional high from what started as a routine diaper change. And I think on how memories like these are what create a life worth living. Points in time that give us our sense of purpose. I never want to forget that private moment of mother and son. Precious precious memories. Being a wife and mother is what defines me. A job handed to me by God. My love for this baby, my daughter, and husband, is what makes me what I am. They are my gravitational pull. My beacon of light. I do not worship them as a deity, they just connect me to all things real in this world. That is my personal journey. To walk through life with them.
But to think of the future cannot be done without thinking of the past. And then it hits me.
I have been exceedingly blessed in the grandparent department. Two sets of equally terrific grandparents who took the time to really get to know me and my sister. Sadly two of them have been stricken with Alzheimer’s disease. I have watched them slowly return to childhood and then leave this world all together. And though I have always understood the disease from a medical viewpoint. I never related to it on a personal level other than my love for them. Until now.
Now I get it.
Most disease ends your life. Cancer. Heart disease. Stroke. They steal years from their victims. Time they never reached. But Alzheimer’s steals from you your most valued times. The memories of who you are and how you came to be that way. It steals from you what is tangibly yours and leaves you with ghost memories. A sense of loss without really knowing what it is that is missing. Having Alzheimer’s is like your best memories being repossessed. Precious moments of their own they can no longer go back and relive in their own mind.
Alzheimer’s doesn’t take your life away, just the life you had away. All the precious moments you would love to cherish forever. One by one. The ability to recall your favorite times in life, your triumphs, and wiggly baby legs. To never relive these memories in your mind is the tragedy. How can we find joy if life is so fleeting?
And I pause again.
And a smile spreads again.
I may forget this moment… one day. But it’s ok. It just makes today more important.
Alzheimer’s, may snatch my memories away like a thief in the night or my health may fail. What becomes of us in the end is not our decision. I will not waste the time I have speculating on the outcome. But I can rest assured I am living a life that is creating memories that will last beyond me. Memories that are worth remembering. Just as my grandparents memories continue to live with me. Life may be fleeting but Love is not.
Right now, I will enjoy my memories. Soak them up and roll around in all their goodness. I may not be able to recall what baby grunts in the dark sound like. But I will make sure those I love know how much I love them. They can carry my memories forward.
In this small way I am passing on time with my two extraordinary grandparents who would love to still be making memories. I choose honor them and live a life of value. I hope they approve.
A great mentor of mine says “A day is never wasted if a memory is created.” I hold this close to my heart. I often think, “Am I living a life of value? Am I passing on moments of worth to those around me? Am I leading a path of success for my children?” These questions keep me in hot pursuit of the next level of freedom. Everyday is a triumph in shedding the waste and adding value.
I hear people say “Live like you were dying” but that makes little sense to me. It is as if some people get to live forever.
Why not say “Live a life worth living”?
It is in this spirit www.letstalklogistics.com was born. A place for building a life worth living. It sounds grand, but it’s simple.
My goal is to help people make everyday life easier so you have time for what can make the day special. To make the mundane – magical. To make life’s duties (i.e. the laundry) better. But also to expose you to possibly a whole new way of looking at life in general. The Art of Living. Thinking less of the office and more of the home office. Of the world as your playground. And friendships that can span the globe.
Everything you find on this site is written with love.
Backstory Update: In 2011, I had successfully taken a hiatus from my brick and mortar business to raise my two babies. My original plan was to return to work in late 2009 after the birth of my first daughter but her health issues made it hard to find the right care for her in my absence. I took more time off relying on my incredible family and staff to keep things going at the business and focused more on what I personally wanted to accomplish until my wee one got a little older. Then, I had my second child. Not ready to give up my stay-at-home ranks to go back to work, I started reinventing my business acumen as a work-from-home-mom. It was a fantastic choice for me. Not only do I get to spend my time traveling with my kids and homeschooling, but I have a fantastic set of employees keeping the fires lit at the brick-and-mortar business. What started as “let’s have some kids” has turned into one of the greatest adventures of my life both personally and professionally.